Before I even start with this post, I want to ask that you read it with an open mind, and with the knowledge that I am in no way trying to push it onto you, my cherished readers. And if you have nothing nice to say, please by all means say nothing at all. I will take no offense.
Honestly, Im not even sure where to begin. The beginning, it seems, is always a good place. I was raised as a normal, run of the mill all-American kid. Scraped knees, family summer camping trips, church every Sunday morning, and some Nintendo thrown in for good measure. I played with Barbi's, went to a private religious school, and watched alot of television. Your perfect example of a product of suburban America. But even as a child (as early as 7 years old) I recalled "seeing things happen." Having visions, I suppose one might say. Not only things that later would actually happen (as in deja vu) but even possible outcomes of situations. I cant remember alot of these situations other than to remember that I did, in fact experience them. But a few I remember quite vividly. The best example I can give you is a very tangible one- my son, Dylan who is now 5. Although this one occured as a dream. About a week BEFORE I found out that I was pregnant with him- and after suffering a long period of infertility and then a tragic and emotionally painful miscarriage- I dreamt that I went into the Dr who performed a sonogram on my uterus. He told me that I was pregnant and showed to me exactly where in my body the baby had implanted. The dream continued and I dont remember all of it, but I distinctly remember sitting in the waiting room of an office I would later find out was the OB/GYN wing at Naval Medical Center in Portsmouth Virginia with a little boy with blong curly hair and the brightest blue eyes you could imagine. The next morning, I told Dean about the dream and we both sort of just blew it off. After having tried for so damn long, and losing what we had finally thought we achieved, we just didnt have the emotional energy to get excited about this silly dream. Well, a week later, I go in for a pregnancy test and YEY! I was in fact pregnant again! Well, 2 months later we were en route to our next duty station- Virginia Beach, Virginia, and Dylan was born April 3, 2004 at Naval Medical Center in Portsmouth, Virginia. 2 years later, he and I were sitting in the OB/GYN office at NMCP and he sat right next to me- blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes.
I've always had experiences like this. No explaination. A few years ago, I can't recall the circumstances under which the topic came up, but I was talking to my Dad about these visions and dreams and he dropped a bombshell on me- my great grandmother had been a visionary/seer for her Cherokee Indian tribe. This surprised me not only because it mean that I wasn't crazy, but because it meant that this was ok. Natural, even. I was going with it. It was not, however, something that I felt comfortable sharing with lots of people. I was raised as a Lutheran who went to church every Sunday, worshipped the Lord God, knew that Jesus died for my sins, and that if I lived a good and righteous life and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior, I was guaranteed a spot in Heaven.
But there were things that I just couldnt explain. Things that were just not right. Not only with Christianity, but with the world in general. I've always been fascinated with Astronomy. The stars. the galaxy, the planets... The stars were my glitter and I was a kid with A.D.D. OHHHH SHINY!!!! But I wasn't so much into the physics of it so much as I just wanted to
be there. We simply, I reasoned, can NOT be the only beings in the entire universe. We can't. Its simply irrational to think that we could. But WHERE were the others? Why can't we find them, nor them us? Or had they? Wouldn't the Government like, tell us? The United States Government is full of people who hold integrity as a core value. Right? I mean- this is the US Government we are talking about. We have some bad MF'ers in our corner. Some genuine all american badasses. What would they really be risking by saying "Yeah, Roswell happened. Deal with it, or deal with our thugs here." But I digress....
So anyhow... Im sure you all have heard the hype regarding the new movie 2012. Im not sure if it directly correlates to the conspiracy theorys surrounding the date 21 December 2012. But that date, too, has fascinated me in recent years. Will the world actually come to an end on 21 December 2012? As Human beings, will our race cease to continue? Well I just had to know. So I did a little digging via Yahoo seaches. My first result was a website that was all about conspiracy theories surrounding the date 21 December 2012. Truly scary, pee your pants type stuff. Apocalyptic visions, end of the world, kiss your ass goodbye stuff. Uh, no thanks. But something else caught my eye. Something that led me to another, completely different website called
Project Camelot. Upon checking out this site, I was able to watch videos, read commentary on others' views on not only what
might happen, but what has already happened, and things to be aware of. Still conspiracy theories one might say, but reliable information from verified sources. Having read some of the things that I have read on this site, as well as on sites linked from this one, I have to say- my life is forever changed. I will never ever view the world (past, present or future) in the same way. Whether this information is true or false, real or not, can only be left to speculation and for the reader to discern for themselves. And this website makes that very clear- you read it, you watch it, YOU decide whether you will believe it or not. Connect the pieces for yourself and make your own decisions. I have, as an individual who
I like to believe to be smart and well educated, decided that yes- this information is not only good, solid information, but it sure does explain alot. I DO believe that we are not alone in this universe, and that we have been visited. I choose to believe it and I choose to do more research on it. I find it fascinating.
However, as the title of this post would indicate, the information that I've read has caused a crack of sorts in the very foundation of my self. Everything that I was taught to believe- the Earth being only a few thousand years old contrary to scientific findings, that we are not only alone in the universe, but are also the smartest folks around, and even the core of my religious beliefs have been shaken. Could religion really be a great social experiment? Am I really simply a pawn in a game much larger than I could ever imagine? I've been thinking alot these past few days, and the things that I have come to realize are this- We are not alone in this universe. It is too damn big, and Earth is too damn small. Religion and spirituality are not necesarily one and the same, but I fail to believe that Jesus Christ was not everything that I have been taught. I always have, and continue to, believe that he is my savior and gave the ultimate sacrifice for my sins. I will continue to live a good life and do good things in it- if not simply to die knowing that I did live a good life and did good things for good people in its duration. The world is changing rapidly- nuclear war is an ever growing threat and the world is full of unstable, irrational leaders (Hello, Kim Jong-Il!) armed with nuclear warheads. Whether or not the world will actually end, or our way of life will be drastically altered, I dont know. But I do know that I dont want to go through it with a closed mind.
Now if you've made it this far, Thank you. I really needed to get these things out in the open and release some of this info. Im not going to be heading off and joining a Kool Aid drinking cult, or wearing a hat made of foil and throw out my beloved Blackberry all in the sake of keeping my privacy private. But I will say this- I am changed both in my way of thinking, as well as in my day to day life. I have weird dreams and Im ok with that.
Have a beautiful day!
XOXO,
Becca
L-R: 
The Extra Goodies:
Yarn barf, you scoff? Perhaps. But it's my first yarn and I love it. And then there was this:
A little more delicious, a little less thick and thin. And finally:
My pride and joy- 10.5 yards of merino wool dyed with 2 packets of Black Cherry Kool Aide! I love it and am quite happy with the outcome!
